|I have locked myself outside your heart by locking you outside of
mine. I am afraid. I am ashamed of what you may find there. I am afraid that I am
different in some inferior way that you will laugh at--that you will view the treasures of
my heart and judge them inferior.
Why do I fear this? Where do I get this idea?
Because others have betrayed me. Because I have betrayed others.
Because I have judged others as inferior or superior to me. Because I have chosen
unsafe people and exposed myself to them, and when they hurt me I said to myself:
"You see, I was right. You cannot trust anyone," when in fact, I can
trust people. But first I must have the patience to make sure they are safe and loving
people--not victimizers or shamers. Still, I may be hurt occasionally, but I will work
through it, not run from it.
People who love me care if they hurt me. I can tell them that something they've done
hurt me or invoked unhappy associations for me. They will listen. In most cases, if my
request for them to stop the behavior is reasonable, they will stop it. They will put
themselves in my shoes and try to see my point of view, and why the behavior hurt me. I
will also look at my part in it and try to heal the old wound that they may have stepped
on. It is a learning and growing and healing process.
If I did not have pain, I would not know I was wounded. I would simply bleed to