Sacred Female On-Line E-Book - A Book of Meditations and Affirmations for Women
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Mandarava Gifts for the Spirit

 

Current Chapter's
Contents:

Believe!
Outsider
Spiritual Healing
Tranquil Waters
Creation Aware of Itself
Experience Me
As You Believe

Book Contents:

Table of Contents
Introduction
Terms Of Use
Chapt. 1: Sacred Infancy
Chapt. 2: Sacred Childhood
Chapt. 3: Sacred Adolescence
Chapt. 4: Sacred Womanhood
Chapt. 5: Sacred Motherhood
Chapt. 6: Sacred Healing
Chapt. 7: Sacred Maturity
Chapt. 8: Sacred Matronhood
Chapt. 9: Sacred Female

Outsider

I have locked myself outside your heart by locking you outside of mine. I am afraid. I am ashamed of what you may find there. I am afraid that I am different in some inferior way that you will laugh at--that you will view the treasures of my heart and judge them inferior.

Why do I fear this? Where do I get this idea?

Because others have betrayed me. Because I have betrayed others.

Because I have judged others as inferior or superior to me. Because I have chosen unsafe people and exposed myself to them, and when they hurt me I said to myself: "You see, I was right. You cannot trust anyone," when in fact, I can trust people. But first I must have the patience to make sure they are safe and loving people--not victimizers or shamers. Still, I may be hurt occasionally, but I will work through it, not run from it.

People who love me care if they hurt me. I can tell them that something they've done hurt me or invoked unhappy associations for me. They will listen. In most cases, if my request for them to stop the behavior is reasonable, they will stop it. They will put themselves in my shoes and try to see my point of view, and why the behavior hurt me. I will also look at my part in it and try to heal the old wound that they may have stepped on. It is a learning and growing and healing process.

If I did not have pain, I would not know I was wounded. I would simply bleed to death.

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