It is perfectly natural
to want security--but there are two ways to obtain it--the ego (false self) and the Self.
The ego attempts to create security by grasping at
material things, restricting the growth of oneself and others and in attempting to
maintain the status quo.
The Self creates security by practicing faith--by
constantly expanding outward, by surrender, by letting go of control and by constantly
moving forward into new territories of awareness and personal experience.
There is little real security in controlling the
actions of a beloved one, or the conditions of one's environment--although the ego
believes this is the only way to make the environment safe for its existence.
The Self knows that, rather than controlling others,
it seeks to constantly meet new people and form new relationships. That way, if one
relationship doesn't work out--there are many others to pursue and to grow from.
The ego believes in scarcity; the Self knows there
is abundance: there are many people to have relationships with, many sources of love and
affection. The Self does not demand that one person supply all human need, and therefore,
expands outward, constantly growing.
The ego does not want to grow, it is afraid of
growth, and is threatened by it.