Sacred Female On-Line E-Book - A Book of Meditations and Affirmations for Women
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Mandarava Gifts for the Spirit


Current Chapter's

Changing Yourself
Your Garden
To BE!
All You Need
My Own Purpose
My Source
Why Am I Here?

Book Contents:

Table of Contents
Terms Of Use
Chapt. 1: Sacred Infancy
Chapt. 2: Sacred Childhood
Chapt. 3: Sacred Adolescence
Chapt. 4: Sacred Womanhood
Chapt. 5: Sacred Motherhood
Chapt. 6: Sacred Healing
Chapt. 7: Sacred Maturity
Chapt. 8: Sacred Matronhood
Chapt. 9: Sacred Female

Changing Yourself - Changing Others 

You cannot change another person--and you must not even try. It is a violation of their rights, their integrity, their free will for you to interfere with their chosen path. And make no mistake, each path is freely chosen, even though you claim and wail loudly that it is not so! 

Neither must you attempt to change yourself to be more attractive to another--to win another’s love, affection or attention. Most people attempt both of these two things at some time. And the results are incredibly painful. Still, they try. But why?  

You are taught, before you are even aware of yourself, that you can only survive if someone else takes care of you. This is the Truth of infancy. A baby who does not cry will not get changed. One who is sick and does not squall, will not get attention. One who is hungry and is silent, may not get fed. So, manipulating others is necessary for baby's survival. The message the baby learns is this: "I need something outside of myself to survive, and I must manipulate the world to get it."  

When you were a little older, your parents or caretakers, perhaps undernourished in spirit themselves, may have used this once-true belief to hurt you, manipulate you, or control you. They may have fostered the idea that you have to "earn" their love--and that your survival depends upon it! This is a cruel, but very widespread Lie--many people believe it, both adults and children. Even well-meaning parents may teach their children the Big Lie--"your worth--perhaps even your survival-- depends on pleasing me. If you are not good enough, I will not love you, feed you, clothe you. I have what you need to survive, but I may decide not to give it to you."  

This is a very powerful, destructive message, and deeply embedded. You learn to believe that you cannot survive without something outside yourself and that you must somehow manipulate others to get it. "I cannot live without you. If only I am good enough . . . if only I give enough . . . if only I can please you enough, you will give me what I need to survive and I will be OK."  

The lure of the game is very powerful, overwhelmingly powerful at times, for it is deeply embedded in the unconscious mind--in the ego-mind.  

But, nevertheless, it is a Lie, and a huge one, because what you need is MY LOVE. And My Love IS NOT EARNED. Furthermore, it does not come from without, but from within.   And it is always there, waiting for you to call upon it, to listen to it. To experience ME.    

Copyright @1999-2010 S. C. Norwood.  All rights reserved.